Body Language for Dummies

In the Beginning Was the Gesture

Defining Body Language 
Discovering How Body Language Conveys Messages
Projecting an image in the first 30 seconds 
Transmitting messages unconsciously
Substituting behaviour for the spoken word
Gesturing to illustrate what you’re saying
Physically supporting the spoken word
Revealing thoughts, attitudes, and beliefs
Key Types of Gestures
Unintentional gestures
Signature gestures: Gestures that define who you are 
Fake gestures: Pulling the wool 
Micro gestures: A little gesture means a lot
Displacement gestures
Universal gestures
Getting the Most Out of Body Language 
Becoming spatially aware
Anticipating movements 
Creating rapport through reflecting gestures
Becoming who you want to be 
Reading the signs and responding appropriately 
Appreciating Cultural Differences

Looking Closer at Non-verbal Gestures 
The History of Body Language.
Aping our ancestors
Gestures first, language second 
The Nuts and Bolts of Body Language
Kinesics: The categories of gesture 
Inborn responses
Learned gestures
A Final Word on Non-verbal Gestures

 

Starting at the Top

Heading to the Heart of the Matter 
Demonstrating Power and Authority 
Signalling superiority
Demonstrating arrogance
Displaying aggression 
Showing disapproval
Conveying rejection 
Catapulting for intimidation
Tossing your head in defiance
Beckoning with your head
Touching someone on the head 
Showing Agreement and Encouragement: The Nod 
Encouraging the speaker to continue
Showing understanding
Micro nodding
Displaying Attention and Interest 
Tilting and canting 
The head cock
Sitting tête à tête .
Indicating Submissiveness or Worry 
Dipping and ducking 
Cradling for comfort 
The head clasp
Showing Boredom 
Showing You’re Deep in Thought
Head resting on hand
Chin stroking 

Facial Expressions 
Communicating Feelings When Words Are Inappropriate
Recognising Facial Expressions that Reinforce the Spoken Message 

Masking Emotions
Expressing a Range of Emotions 
Showing happiness
Revealing sadness 
Demonstrating disgust and contempt 
Showing anger
Recognising surprise and revealing fear 
Demonstrating interest

The Eyes Have It 
The Power of the Held Gaze 
To show interest 
To show disapproval, disagreement, and other
not-so-pleasant feelings 
To show dominance 
Effective gazes in business situations 
The Wandering Eye: Breaking Eye Contact
The eye shuttle 
The sideways glance
The eye dip
Other Ways Your Eyes Tell a Tale
Winkin’ and blinkin’
Active eyebrows: The Eyebrow Flash
Widening your eyes
Flicking, flashing, and fluttering 

Lip Reading 
Revealing Thoughts, Feelings, and Emotions
Tight lips
Loose lips 
Chewing on lips 
Maintaining a stiff upper lip 
Pouting for effect 
Pursing as a sign of disagreement
Tensing your lips and biting back your words
Changing thoughts and behaviours
Differentiating Smiles
The tight-lipped smile
The lop-sided smile
The drop-jaw smile
The turn-away smile
The closed-lip grin
The full-blown grin 
Laughter’s the Best Medicine 

 

The Trunk: Limbs and Roots

Take It From the Torso 
Gaining Insights into the Impact of Posture
Evaluating what your own posture says about you
Showing intensity of feelings 
Revealing personality and character
Three Main Types of Posture
Standing
Sitting .
Lying down
Changing Attitudes by Changing Posture 
Using Posture to Aid Communication 
Showing high and low status through postural positions 
Leaning forward to show interest and liking 
Shrugging Signals 
Signalling lack of knowledge 
Showing unwillingness to get involved 
Implying a submissive apology 
Chapter 8: Arming Yourself 
Building Defensive Barriersrms crossed on your chest
Touching yourself: Hugs, strokes, and more 
Placing objects in front of yourself 
Giving the cold shoulder
Conveying Friendliness and Honesty 
Touching to Convey Messages 
Creating a bond 
Demonstrating dominance
Reinforcing the message
Increasing your influence
Embracing during greetings and departures 
Chapter 9: It’s in the Palm of Your Hand 
Up or Down: Reading Palms 
The open palm
The downward facing palm
Closed-palm, finger-pointed
Hands Up! 
Hiding your hands
The hand rub: Good for you or good for me?
The folded hand 
Hands clenched 
Letting the Fingers Do the Talking 
The precision grip 
The power grip 

The power chop 
The steeple
Gripping hands, wrists, and arms 
Gesturing with your thumbs
Analysing Handshakes
Deciding who reaches out first
Conveying attitude 
Displacing Your Energy 
Drumming for relief
Fiddling for comfort 
Hand to nose .
Hand to cheek 
Hand to chin

Standing Your Ground 
Showing Commitment and Attitude through Your Stance
Straddle stance 
Parallel stance
Buttress stance 
Scissor stance 
Entwining your legs
Reflecting Your Feelings by the Way You Position Your Feet 
Pointing towards the desired place 
Fidgeting feet
Knotted ankles
Twitching, flicking, or going in circles 
Walking Styles

Playing with Props 
Using Accessories to Reflect Mental States
Showing inner turmoil 
Pausing for thought
Through the Looking Glasses
Stalling for time
Scrutinising the situation
Controlling the conversation 
Showing resistance
Appearing cool
Spectacles at the office
Holy Smokes 
Smoking and sexual displays 
Ways of smoking
Making It Up as You Go Along
Make-up at the office
Making up for play
Clothing: Dressing the Part
Women’s accessories 
Men’s accessories

 

Putting the Body into Social and Business Context

Territorial Rights and Regulations
Understanding the Effect of Space
Knowing Your Space 
The five zones 
Other territorial positions
Using Space
Demonstrating ownership
Showing submission 
Guarding your space
Revealing comfort or discomfort 
Maintaining your personal space
Seating Arrangements 
Speaking in a relaxed setting
Cooperating
Combating and defending 
Keeping to yourself 
Creating equality 
Orientating Yourself
Horizontally
Vertically 
Asymmetrically

Dating and Mating 
Attracting Someone’s Attention 
Going courting: The five stages 
Highlighting gender differences 
Showing That You’re Free 
Courting gestures of women
Courting gestures of men 
A universal sign of attraction: Dilated pupils 
Progressing Through the Romance 
Matching each other’s behaviours
Showing that you belong together 

Interviewing, Influencing, and Playing Politics
Making the First Impression: The Interview
Minimal gestures for maximum effect 
Standing tall and holding your ground
Moving with purpose
Pointing Your Body in the Right Direction.
Creating a relaxed attitude with the 45 degree angle 
Facing directly for serious answers 
Picking the power seats

Negotiating Styles 
Claiming your space
Displaying confidence
Avoiding nervous gestures.

Crossing the Cultural Divide
Greetings and Farewells 
Expecting to be touched
Acknowledging the no-touching rule 
A word about waving farewell 
Higher and Lower Status Behaviour
Bowing, kneeling, and curtseying
Standing to attention
Positioning and Setting Boundaries
Common Gestures, Multiple Interpretations
Thumbs up 
The ‘okay’ sign
Laughter 
Smoothing Over Difficult Situations 
Playing by the Local Rules: Eye Contact
Adapting Your Style for Clear Communication 

Reading the Signs 
Taking an Interest in Other People
Drawing Conclusions from What You Observe 
Looking at the sum total of the gestures
Dealing with a mismatch between spoken
and non-verbal messages 
Considering the context
Practice Makes Perfect: Improving Your Reading

 

Ten Ways to Spot Deception 
Catching Fleeting Expressions Crossing the Face
Suppressing Facial Expressions
Eyeing Someone Up
Covering the Source of Deception 
Touching the Nose 
Faking a Smile 
Minimising Hand Gestures
Maximising Body Touches 
Shifting Positions and Fidgeting Feet 
Changing Speech Patterns 

Ten Ways to Reveal Your Attractiveness 
Using Eye Contact 
Showing Liveliness in Your Face 
Offering Encouragement 
Using Open Gestures 
Showing Interest Through Your Posture
Positioning Yourself
Touching to Connect
Being on Time 
Synchronising Your Gestures 
Balancing Your Non-verbal Aspects of Speech

Ten Ways to Find Out about Someone without Asking 
Observing Eye Movements
Looking at Facial Expressions 
Watching for Head Movements 
Noticing Hand and Arm Gestures
Observing Posture 
Considering Proximity and Orientation 
Paying Attention to Touching 
Responding to Appearance
Checking Timing and Synchronisation
Scrutinising Non-verbal Aspects of Speech

Ten Ways to Improve Your Silent Communication
Taking an Interest
Knowing What You Want to Express
Modelling Excellence
Mirroring Others 
Practising Gestures
Developing Timing and Synchronisation 
Dressing the Part
Acting the Way You Want to Be Perceived
Demonstrating Awareness 
Asking for Feedback